For those who were at PCNAK in Houston a few weeks ago, you may remember Jason James’ message from Thursday night. In it, he mentioned the feeling of holding his nephew and envisioning that baby’s future. Today, I had the privilege to hold my niece Olivia Grace Varghese, and as she stared at me with her eyes wide open, I was in awe.
In awe of the fact that this baby girl is an innocent person, new to the world but known to God long before she was born. This baby girl has a chance to make a difference in this world, and she has no baggage behind her at this moment. But one day, when she is old enough, she will make a mistake, and another, and another, and fall into the trap of sinful mankind. I just want her to stay innocent like this as long as possible.
I saw my niece’s eyes searching today, searching her surroundings. It was something amazing, something I’ll never forget. My hope and prayer is that one day, those eyes will be searching for the good in the world, and bringing the joy of Christ into the lives of others through her life.
When I consider the innocence of Olivia Grace Varghese right now, I am saddened and frustrated by own shortcomings. I wonder how in 23 years of life I have messed up as much as I have. I want to go back to her stage, start over, start from scratch. It’s funny, I’ve heard my whole life the gospel and about the rebirth we have in Christ. But seeing a brand new baby girl born into the world with a chance to do something amazing is unique and unforgettable.
Yes, I’ve been saved. Yes I know the gospel. God looks at me with the robe of righteousness that covers my sin, and I have a divine purpose to accomplish. And by God’s grace I will accomplish those things.
But oh what it would be to go back and to correct those pitfalls I had. Those thoughts I shouldn’t have thought. Those things I shouldn’t have said. The things I should have done when I did nothing. But I can’t go back, only forward.
Olivia Grace has a lifetime ahead to accomplish great things. Though I have my scars and past sins, I am refreshed by the grace of God and have the chance to yet do that as well. Oh how great is the grace of my God.